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Come To Our New Delphi Etiquette Forum! [10 Oct 2006|09:36pm]

In many ways, the BB format works better than a group-blog format for extended discussions. It's also true that many of you have Delphi Plus accounts with all of the benefits, and don't want to have to pay for an upgraded Livejournal account too.

With this in mind, we would like to invite you to our brand-new Delphi etiquette forum - Modern Etiquette and Manners.

Please read the rules, as they're a little different to the ones at Evil Trepanny's.

Hope to see you there!

The Manners Coalition - agavi, ccollinsc (Cecilotta>, darph_bobo, hazelstitch, laughsinterror (houndsmom), humanunit, jadzia81, kaishay, joysterlicious (lippytc), lyncc1, mamlambo, Megan, phoenixeml, Reenie, rleyser (tee2027), the_tesse (tesselene) and phonemonkey (TrepannyPeck).
25 comments|post comment

Some light relief [09 Oct 2006|12:31pm]

Any one up for a game of Mornington Crescent?
17 comments|post comment

Not etiquette, but very cool [04 Oct 2006|11:08am]

I thought ladycrim might like this Discworld Cake: http://homepages.tesco.net/~janefisk/discworld/discworld.htm
8 comments|post comment

A nice story from Wide Lawns [03 Oct 2006|01:25pm]

If you're not reading Wide Lawns, then you really ought to. Most of it is the story of life working at a very rich, very snooty, very hideous gated community Somewhere In Florida. And it's hilarious.

But sometimes Subservient Worker posts something personal, like this: http://widelawns.blogspot.com/2006/09/i-woke-up-this-morning-in-mood-for.html
11 comments|post comment

Thought for the Day [09 Sep 2006|09:43pm]

Etiquette is the lubrication that keeps the wheels of society turning smoothly and pleasantly.

It is NOT the lubrication that lets you fuck people hard in the ass.

And you can quote me on that.
8 comments|post comment

the height of possessiveness [09 Sep 2006|09:37am]

[ mood | surprised ]


The second letter.

I also posted in E-hell, so I do not know if this would be considered cross-posting. But I had to put it here as well for people who don't go there.

I do not think I had ever seen such an insecure and needy person. Not to mention possessive. I do not know if this is what would be called co-dependency.

10 comments|post comment

Change to settings [29 Aug 2006|03:49pm]

Just so you all know, the default setting of this community is now friends-only. In other words, don't forget to log in!

Also, here are some cats that look like Hitler: http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/
6 comments|post comment

Would YOU forgive me if I did this to you? [25 Aug 2006|09:40pm]

[ mood | crushed ]

This is an etiquette thing.  I'm posting here cuz I can't post you-know-where and because I'm absolutely sick over this.  =(

If I had done this to me, I'd have been plenty upset, but I would forgive me.  Then again, this HAS been done to me before (more than once) and it hasn't ended a friendship.  I've been plenty hurt, but a sincere apology has always fixed that quickly .

I just need to know if I am wrong to expect a sincere apology to be taken at face value.  I stood up a friend and I feel awful. 

Have you ever been stood up?  Have you forgiven for it when an apology is offered?  Under what circumstances involving messed up plans would you consider a friendship to be over?
14 comments|post comment

Not Enough Coke in the World... [24 Aug 2006|11:45am]

Check this out - Salon.com's analysis of an article that appeared in Forbes magazine recently. "Don't Marry Career Women" - where the writer explains why female professionals make bad wives. Example - longer hours mean 1.9 less hours of housework done. The horror!

You might have to watch a brief commercial to get access to the site. For those outside the U.S. who might not know, Forbes is an extremely well respected financial magazine, which makes this more shocking!

So ticked off right now...

Unhappily Ever After on Salon.Com
34 comments|post comment

More tales of idiocy [22 Aug 2006|04:48pm]

From my beloved employer, who I refer to as "Dead Database Towers" when on other forums.

A northern co-worker informed me today of the hilarity in the office when a young lady working there forgot the first rule of email etiquette:

1. Always check the 'To:' field before sending.

She intended to send a small note to her team pleading for money to post bail for her boyfriend. Now that is idiotic in itself, but it gets better.

Instead of sending it to her team, she sent it to all the teams in the territory. Some 800 users got that email. Last I heard was that the regional director (a very old-school type of businessman, fair, hardworking but takes no rubbish) was less than impressed at receiving an email begging for money to post bail.

Kind of reminds me of all the times people have recieved "we're getting married! give us money!" or "we're having a baby! give us money!" cards from people they hardly know. I think asking the entire regional office for cash falls into the same boat...
11 comments|post comment

Destroy All Humans! [22 Aug 2006|08:51am]

On a lighter note...

Terminator, or Game Show Host? You Make The Call!Collapse )
4 comments|post comment

A couple of things [21 Aug 2006|04:58pm]

First of all, some Geekly Host Etiquette - a nice article about How To Throw A Large Room Party At A Science Fiction Convention. http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/007898.html#007898

I especially like the following line: Living organisms may not be brought in on a leash. Pets are right out, too.

Secondly, I would remind everyone here (and I am not singling anyone out) to please keep debate courteous and refrain from personal attacks on present or absent friends. And that includes you, young Timothy Foo.

Thirdly, to celebrate the fact that I'm going on vacation in the Netherlands and Belgium, this week's special drink offers are on genever (Dutch gin), frambozen (raspberry beer), kriek (cherry beer) and lambic. Steaks, mussels and frites will also be served.
4 comments|post comment

Geek Wedding Concept [18 Aug 2006|10:59pm]

I've been thinking about the Unity Candle ceremony that is included in many weddings. You see, the problem that I have with the Unity Candle ceremony is that you don't actually need two little candles to light the big candle - one will do just fine. To me, that doesn't really symbolise the union of two souls into something bigger and better.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Unity Thermite Reaction!

The thermite reaction is a very dangerous and extremely cool chemical reaction between powdered iron oxide and aluminium. It can't be extinguished, and you get intense heat and white-hot molten iron.

I've even written a little homily.

"Brothers and Sisters, as we watch the magnesium ribbon that symbolises the wedding day burning down towards the iron oxide that symbolises Michael and the aluminium that symbolises Karen, we pause to remind ourselves of how the white-hot flame of their love, a flame which cannot be put out, forges the strong iron of marriage. Amen. And wasn't that awesome?"

I think it might have to become part of the Slappatarian marriage ceremony. The outdoor Slappatarian marriage ceremony.
6 comments|post comment

I think what is required here... [18 Aug 2006|06:51pm]

..is a cup of tea!

I'm putting the kettle on, anyone want a cuppa?
10 comments|post comment

[16 Aug 2006|11:08pm]

Can someone please explain this new trend of "I'm not racist, but I think I should be able to use some racial epithets" to me? Because I'm really not clear on how that's remotely proper etiquette.
153 comments|post comment

Bratty Child and Entitled Parents of the Year [09 Aug 2006|04:19pm]

This story's up on EHell, but I know there are people who post here and not there.

The story may be upsetting to animal lovers: http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/15202942.htm

For those of you who don't want to click that link, here is the story under a cutCollapse )
9 comments|post comment

Welcome, new members! [01 Aug 2006|09:03pm]

We've recently had a lot of new people join Evil Trepanny's.

It would be great if you could say who you are here, tell us a little about yourself, and about how and why you're interested in etiquette.

Also, what can I get you to drink?
68 comments|post comment

Office IT etiquette tips from a techie [22 Jul 2006|08:28pm]

(Edited: For those new to me, this is Polgara. My other online name is CommanderData, or CommanderD)

1. First and foremost, IT IS a service industry. We really ARE here to help.

2. Things you can do to help us out: Reboot your machine, clear your web browser's temporary files and cookies out, check all cables. Saves us having to annoy you by going through it again.

3. If it's an urgent problem, of course we will help! But please be aware that there are degrees of urgency, just like in a hospital. Your email account freezing up isn't quite as urgent as the entire Storage Area Network going down. We WILL get to your problem though, I swear it.

4. When you have booked an appointment for the techie to come look at your machine, PLEASE don't go for coffee/lunch/home at that time. Okay, we maybe needed the exercise of walking all the way over there......

5. Don't swear. Please. We know computers are frustrating, many of us have had a GOOD rant session in the server room before. But don't swear at us. Not unless you want your system password changed to 'Iamarudeperson01'.

6. Likewise, don't threaten. Threatening to sic a lawyer on us because we won't get your corrupted mail archive back online in 20 seconds is just annoying. And will lead to your account being locked out. Mandatory time-out of about 1 hour for each time you threatened. And also password change to 'Iamanidiot2006'.

7. We can see what websites you access, we can see what emails you send, we can see what files you store on the system. So while it was 'clever' to try and use a proxy server to access that hardcore smut site, we saw it. I don't like having to report people, I actually don't. I hate sending that email to Security that I KNOW will end up with you losing your job.

8. Cookie Friday is for all staff, you are welcome to come and partake of the cookies. This is a scheme we set up to encourage open communication between IT and the rest of the business. I swear we haven't poisoned the cookies. So why do we always end up eating them all? Don't you like us? *sob*

9. Thou shalt not touch the IT Manager's tea. Ever. I will enact vengeance. IT is a service industry but my tea is not.

10. Please tell the truth. If your laptop has had an entire can of coke spilt into it due to trying to do Scritzy's coke rule WHILE reading a joke, then tell us. DOn't tell us it 'fell out of the sky'. Truth will get your repairs done quicker, and if it's a funny truth it will get done even faster. We like funnies.
3 comments|post comment

Inclusivity [22 Jul 2006|02:14pm]

I was just reading a certain monstrous 300+ post thread on EHell about the evils of a vegan birthday party and I was wondering whether the theme is restrictive.

If I'm invited to an 80s themed party I have to go out and buy something to wear. My vintage collection doesn't count the 80s as vintage, more as the decade that fashion forgot. So if a vegan potluck is rude because it requires someone do some thinking about the snack they bring, then an 80s party is also rude because it requires guests to buy sticky hairspray and a ra ra skirt.

In 2004 my apartment held an election night party. We invited everyone, we started at midnight, and we ate snacks, drank clear beverages dyed blue with food colouring and watched the results come in. This was about as political a party as you could get without actually running for office, but the Republicans present didn't have any objection to our blue vodka shots and had as good a time as the rest of us. Since good hosts would have taken our guests' political sensibilities into account, should we have had red-dyed drinks as well as blue so that the Republicans could have made their political decision colourfully known?

That thread and the Whinese thread seem to me to be making a wider statement: that it is not appropriate to make any clear-cut statement just in case someone else is offended. I can't say, I'm a vegetarian and I'd prefer not to have to pick around meat at my birthday party, because a carnivore might be offended in case I think my diet is superior. I can't say, You're speaking Whinese, I can't understand you, because someone might be offended because I made up a word that rhymes with another word. Incidentally, my grandmother used to say, Are you speaking Chinese? I can't understand you, when I was speaking so excitedly and quickly I made no sense as a small child. Should she be tossed into the depths of EHell for referring to a different language she and I didn't speak?

I'm not going to tailor my speech to appease hypothetical offenders. I won't use the F word on the tram when surrounded by nuns and priests out of common courtesy, but then I wouldn't use it there anyway unless I'd dropped my books on my toe. I imagine though there are plenty of inappropriate things I could say that would be offensive to someone, and I'm not going to take a vow of public silence in case my throwaway thoughts on whether it was appropriate for Bush to pat his wife's butt in public and do that Godfather pat on the cheek of that senator cause offence to an incognito Republican beside me.

If we tailor speech so that nobody can be offended by it it becomes so bland that there's nothing left to say. I'm all for not offending people, but within normal limits. If you're offended because my opinion and yours are not the same then that's your fault, not mine, and I'm not going to keep mine to myself while you pontificate so you're not upset. I think this is the same theme of the last several posts here, and I wanted to pull them together into a long and rather cathartic rant.
33 comments|post comment

Why is it so hard to just accept the differences? [21 Jul 2006|04:20pm]

Ok, I finally have a question for debate that might be appropriate to post here.

I've noticed recently that people, both online and in real-life, have a hard time accepting that not everyone thinks the same way they do. Why is it so incredibly hard to just accept that and move on? I mean, just because someone might believe differently politically, religiously, or otherwise than you do, does that make them a bad person? And is it necessary to insult or harass them about those differences.

Thinking of the most simplistic example here:

Two people are at a party. The conversation goes to school and children. One person says "My children are responsible for their own homework. I ask if they've done it, and if they say yes, I trust them.If I get a note home, or they receive bad marks on their report cards, then we deal with it."

So the second parent doesn't agree with this method. They check after their children every night to make sure homework has been completed and is correct. Ok that's a different way of doing things and neither one is the absolute correct or incorrect way to do things, right?

But then the second parent says "I think parents who don't check their kids homework are irresponsible."

Am I wrong in thinking that the second parent has in effect, just insulted the first parent?

This is just an example, it could apply to any little or big thing, like democrats and republicans, or Christian and pagans, or putting clothes away straight out of the dryer and not doing it until you need it.

Why is it so hard to say, hey, she thinks differently, and I think *I* am right, but that doesn't mean she's an awful person or that I have to hate her or insult her. I mean, is it so hard to just think someone is wrong about something but keep it to yourself?
25 comments|post comment

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