1. First and foremost, IT IS a service industry. We really ARE here to help.
2. Things you can do to help us out: Reboot your machine, clear your web browser's temporary files and cookies out, check all cables. Saves us having to annoy you by going through it again.
3. If it's an urgent problem, of course we will help! But please be aware that there are degrees of urgency, just like in a hospital. Your email account freezing up isn't quite as urgent as the entire Storage Area Network going down. We WILL get to your problem though, I swear it.
4. When you have booked an appointment for the techie to come look at your machine, PLEASE don't go for coffee/lunch/home at that time. Okay, we maybe needed the exercise of walking all the way over there......
5. Don't swear. Please. We know computers are frustrating, many of us have had a GOOD rant session in the server room before. But don't swear at us. Not unless you want your system password changed to 'Iamarudeperson01'.
6. Likewise, don't threaten. Threatening to sic a lawyer on us because we won't get your corrupted mail archive back online in 20 seconds is just annoying. And will lead to your account being locked out. Mandatory time-out of about 1 hour for each time you threatened. And also password change to 'Iamanidiot2006'.
7. We can see what websites you access, we can see what emails you send, we can see what files you store on the system. So while it was 'clever' to try and use a proxy server to access that hardcore smut site, we saw it. I don't like having to report people, I actually don't. I hate sending that email to Security that I KNOW will end up with you losing your job.
8. Cookie Friday is for all staff, you are welcome to come and partake of the cookies. This is a scheme we set up to encourage open communication between IT and the rest of the business. I swear we haven't poisoned the cookies. So why do we always end up eating them all? Don't you like us? *sob*
9. Thou shalt not touch the IT Manager's tea. Ever. I will enact vengeance. IT is a service industry but my tea is not.
10. Please tell the truth. If your laptop has had an entire can of coke spilt into it due to trying to do Scritzy's coke rule WHILE reading a joke, then tell us. DOn't tell us it 'fell out of the sky'. Truth will get your repairs done quicker, and if it's a funny truth it will get done even faster. We like funnies.